why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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