um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
