sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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