just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
