MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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