so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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