eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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