That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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