take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
