My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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