Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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