A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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