you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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