I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize