I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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