Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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