I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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