Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
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Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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