Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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