Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I need water and some morals
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
