their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
