3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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