Don't you send me to vm
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
