i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
