Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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