I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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