i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize