Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
