i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
