He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
