3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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