Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
