Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I haven't been this sober since birth.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
