It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
