I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
