you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
