Since when is my name a synonym for head?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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