all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
