you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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