I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
