I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
