honey bunches of taint.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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