If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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