Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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