who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
