What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
