I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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