yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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