so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
