if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
...so i touched it.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
