so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
