Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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