he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME