I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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