i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
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It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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