Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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