just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
