Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize