he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
