and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
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Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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